There was a time when I would say “The only thing I didn’t like about school was the time between recess and lunch, lunch and recess, and recess and dismissal. I endured the classroom for the thrill of the games that filled recess and lunch breaks. As long as I could produce “B’s” on my report card, my Dad was unconcerned with my non- existent study habits. But, as I wrote in an earlier article, the wakeup call came when after midterm exams during my first year at college. I got 45% in a history exam. That was a blow. I had never failed an exam in my previous 12 years of schooling. However, that failure became the platform for future success. We can let failure define us or we can allow it to draw us into new levels of achievement.
Allow me to give you a new definition of fail:
Future Achievement Involves Learning
Unfortunately, most of us have a default program that looks for someone or something to blame. Our weak egos collapse under the weight of failure. Our value is eroded, and we see others pointing the finger of scorn at us. We try to salvage respect and honor by shifting the blame. There are four primary culprits:
Circumstances
Circumstances beyond my control hit me like a tsunami. They leave me broken and powerless. There is no doubt that there are life altering events that deeply impact us. The issue is not what happens to us but rather the choices that we make in responding to the event. We will either let the circumstance bury us or stand on top of the rubble and make constructive choices to direct our future.
Bad Advice
“I followed his advice and look where it go me! I’m not to blame. It’s the wrong counsel I received.” We deceive ourselves into believing that if we would have made the decision without counsel we would have avoided the failure. The fact is that most of us act on the counsel that most closely conforms to the internal values of the heart. We tend to avoid the counsel that is contrary to what we really want. At the end of the day we need to admit that the choice was ours, not that of the counselor. No one forced the counsel upon us, we chose to act upon it.
Incompetent Workers
At last we have found one that is legitimate. Or is it? Who hired the people? Who is responsible for their development? Did anyone research the supplier/sub- contractor, or did you just make a decision based on cost? Highlighting the incompetence of others is just a way of blowing air into my deflated ego and making me look good at their expense.
Blaming Myself
Most self-blame is destructive not constructive. We use phrases like: “That was a dumb move.”; “How could I be so stupid?”; or “I must have been blind!” Those are seeds for future failure. They use the outcome of my choices to define the value of who I am. At their worst, they are attempts to suck affirmation from those who hear them.
So, how can failure be the foundation of success?
Failure Helps Me Evaluate My Priorities
Are profit, position or power tainting my priorities? Or, is my life about relationships and investment in the lives of people for their development? By human standards, Christ’s ignominious death by Roman crucifixion was an abject failure. His resurrection three days later was God’s triumphant exclamation mark of success. Two Thousand years later, 100’s of millions have been powerfully impacted and transformed by His life.
Is my life about people or profits? Failure helps me put the microscope on my priorities.
Failure Helps Me Evaluate My Procedure
Some people have a great idea but they are weak on the steps of action needed for its implementation. You may know where you want to go but do you also know what is needed to get there? I am not a person who naturally thinks sequentially. I need the input of people who do. Details are to the plan what canvas is to the portrait.
Failure Helps Me Evaluate My Purpose
What do you want written on your tombstone? Personally, I want mine to say, “He died climbing!” Life is a classroom that offers endless possibilities of growth.
Don’t let failure be a stumbling stone. Turn it into a stepping stone that will lead you through new doors of discovery: about yourself; about others; about new procedures; new products; and new opportunities that you never thought possible. Remember:
Future Achievement Involves Learning
I look forward to seeing you at the top!
